I notice someone is stalking my blog. I mean, my another blog at Blogger. It’s freaking creepy. I know if you write a blog, people will definitely read it. But still, the feeling of someone reading every post you write is spooky. Well, I guess it depends on who… By the way, I am still wondering whether I should post the link to this blog at my Blogger.
It was Big Day at youth today, so glad that the two Loos (my sisters) went with me. 🙂 Joy sang one of her songs during worship today. It was so nice. I have to say, she is gifted. I really like it, too bad I can’t remember the lyrics now. I hope she’ll sing it tomorrow during service, or during next week Youth Sunday. 🙂
I got a random gift from my pastor today! So touched. Thank God for prompting me to approach pastor and to ask him about the book, or I wouldn’t get it, for free. I guess pastor also sensed something from God. Haha! God is ever so on time. With so many things I have to face lately, I am getting confused and I don’t seem to know my purpose in life. Of course my lovely Papa wouldn’t let me go astray. If you wanna know, the title of the book is “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren.
Sometimes it just makes me wonder, wouldn’t God be confused? Having to plan everything for everyone.
Silly me! He’s not just anybody, He is God! What kind of stupid question is that? LOL. Aren’t you glad that you have Him? 🙂
You are my safest place to be. You are where my tears would choose to go. You are where I can be myself. You are where I do not have to hide my sadness. You are where I do not have to pretend. You are where I wanna be.
Sometimes I would just smile, thinking that I have God.
A smile so assuring.
An assurance so comforting.
A comfort so, so warm.
Here I am,
planning to burn the midnight oil with my whole stack of lecture notes blogging. LOL
Okay, okaaaaaay. I know I should be studying! But I just couldn’t resist the urge to write.
Today is quite a happy day because I’ve been chosen to be part of the organizing committee for AMSEP (Asian Medical Student Exchange Program). I passed my interview, got my first choice! =] Praise God. It has been raining for almost the whole afternoon and the whole night, managed to skip marching practice. Heheee. Speaking of marching, I was also chosen to be one of the flag bearers. Quite a happy thing because all I have to do is just to carry the flag and march, while the others have to do formation. *grins*
I think I’ve wasted my time long enough. It’s time to really study. Hahaa. Do pray for me. =] My exam is on next Monday.
Finally I’ve made the decision. I don’t know if it’s right, but I know as long as I put God in the first place, He will figure out everything else for me. I don’t know if I’ll regret, but I know God will give me the best.
But it’s really hard, you know. Sometimes I think letting go is the hardest thing to do. How can you let go after all that you’ve been through? How can you let go after you got so used to it? How can you let go and just hurt somebody? And yet, I let go, with so much tears. When you’ve come to a point when there is nothing more you can do, when tears no longer show how you feel, when the word ‘sorry’ no longer serves its meaning even when you truly mean it, when all you pray and hope for is just to make it up to the people that you’ve hurt.
I’m really thankful that there is still someone I can talk to. I’m even more grateful that I’ve found someone who understands how I feel in this strange place. A place that changes me so much..even when everything reminds me of you.
Everything shouldn’t have started in the first place.
I hate myself for hurting you.